Jun 15, 2017
"The most important thing you'll do for your relationships is
what you do for yourself."
Our guest today is a co-creator of eHarmony, psychologist,
professor, author, husband and father, Les Parrott. When I shared a
stage with Les at the Dave Ramsey SMART Conference, I was
blown away by his wisdom.
He's shared his expertise with Oprah, Barbara Walters and
Tom Brokaw... and today he will share it with us. My friends,
are you ready to improve your relationships with these amazing
insights on sustaining life-long love? Here we go!
- Fight Night - the event Les and Leslie (his
wife) host where couples talk about their conflict and how to
leverage it to bring them closer together.
Saving Your Marriage before It Starts is their most
- We aren't entitled and don't always get what we feel
we deserve - so we must learn how to adjust to the things
beyond our control.
- Have you faced marriage myths with
honesty? Ex: This person should make me whole. We're
set up for heartache; nobody can complete us.
- The most important thing you'll do for your
relationships is what you do for yourself.
- If you try to bulid intimacy with someone before you have done
the work of getting whole on your own, your relationship will
become an attempt to complete yourself.
- Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are.
A few things you can do to become a little more whole:
- Embrace your significance. Can feel deep down
that you have a purpose on this planet?
- Unswerving authenticity. Are you
following your path regardless of what anyone says?
- Self-giving love. Realizing others needs
are different than yours.
- There are three kinds of fights:
- Bad fights - tear us apart / rip away the
fabric of our relationships
- Dumb fights - have no purpose / are silly
- Good fights - bring us closer
- Don't avoid conflict, turn the fight into a good fight. You
make them "bad" or "good" by the choices you make / context
within the fight.
- Empathy is the single skill that will change your
relationship the most. Conflicts dissipate when
you see conflict from their side and they see it from yours.
Try to accurately see the world from their perspective.
- Empathy has two components, your head and
heart. Sympathize with your heart, analyze with your head. We
typically do one well, recognize which one you struggle with
and make yourself do it, too.
Les's Deep Love Assessment: Partners answer
a series of questions separately and instantly get a private,
custom road map for lifelong love.
LES PARROTT'S LIVE INSPIRED
1. What is the best book you’ve ever
Emotional Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman or
Learned Optimism by Martin Seligman.
2. Tomorrow you discover your wealthy uncle shockingly
dies at the age of 103; leaving you millions. What would you
do? I'd establish, on college campuses, centers for
healthy relationships to give education to a whole new generation.
We'd see divorce rate drop dramatically - and when you lower the
divorce rate, it positively impacts rates of education, wealth,
3. Your house is on fire, all living things and people
are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What
would it be? My laptop.
4. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous
beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with
anyone living or dead. Who would it be? My wife Leslie,
she loves the beach. I love that she loves the beach and we've had
some of our greatest talks there.
5. What is the best advice you’ve ever
received? Master the capacity to adjust to things
beyond your control. Life is unfair.
6. Looking back, what advice would you give
yourself at age 20? Relax. Slow down a bit. It's
going to be okay.
7. It’s been said that all great people can have their
lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to
read? A man who loved his family with all his
If you enjoyed today’s episode: Subscribe (automatically get new
episodes), rate & review (help spread the word!) this
podcast anywhere you get your podcasts.
I can’t wait to see you here next Thursday! Today is your day.
Live Inspired with John everyday on Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, LinkedIn, Pinterest and
get his Monday Motivation email: www.JohnOLearyInspires.com/Monday-Morning