Feb 14, 2019
In honor of Valentine's Day I went deep into the vault -- we're
over 100 episodes deep now! -- to feature one of our resident love
experts Les Parrott. He'll give us practical tips to love (and
live!) more inspired. This episode originally aired in
Les is a co-creator of the match-making software behind
eHarmony, psychologist, professor, author, husband, and
father. He’s shared his expertise with Oprah, Barbara
Walters, and Tom Brokaw and today he shares it with us.
Are you ready to improve, maintain and ignite all of your
relationships to live more inspired?
- Fight Night – the event Les and Leslie
(his wife) host where couples talk about their conflict and
how to leverage it to bring them closer together.
Saving Your Marriage before It Starts is their most
- We aren’t entitled and don’t always get what we feel
we deserve – so we must learn how to adjust to the things
beyond our control.
- Have you faced marriage myths with
honesty? Ex: This person should make me whole. We’re
set up for heartache; nobody can complete us.
- The most important thing you’ll do for your
relationships is what you do for yourself.
- If you try to build intimacy with someone before you have done
the work of getting whole on your own, your relationship will
become an attempt to complete yourself.
- Your relationships can only be as healthy as you are.
A few things you can do to become a little more whole:
- Embrace your significance. Can feel deep
down that you have a purpose on this planet?
- Unswerving authenticity. Are you
following your path regardless of what anyone says?
- Self-giving love. Realizing others needs
are different than yours.
- There are three kinds of fights:
- Bad fights – tear us apart /
rip away the fabric of our relationships
- Dumb fights – have no purpose / are
- Good fights – bring us closer
- Don’t avoid conflict, turn the fight into a good fight. You
make them “bad” or “good” by the choices you make / context
within the fight.
- Empathy is a single skill that will change your
relationship the most. Conflicts dissipate when
you see the conflict from their side and they see it from
yours. Try to accurately see the world from their
- Empathy has two components, your head,
and heart. Sympathize with your heart, analyze with your head. We
typically do one well, recognize which one you struggle with and
make yourself do it, too.
Les’s Deep Love Assessment: Partners
answer a series of questions separately and instantly get a
private, custom roadmap for lifelong love.
LES PARROTT’S LIVE INSPIRED 7
1. What is the best book you’ve ever
read? Either Emotional
Intelligence, by Daniel Goleman or Learned
Optimism by Martin Seligman.
2. Tomorrow you discover your wealthy uncle shockingly
dies at the age of 103; leaving you millions. What would you
do? I’d establish, on college campuses, centers for
healthy relationships to give education to a whole new generation.
We’d see divorce rate drop dramatically – and when you lower the
divorce rate, it positively impacts rates of education, wealth,
3. Your house is on fire, all living things and people
are out. You have the opportunity to run in and grab one item. What
would it be? My laptop.
4. You are sitting on a bench overlooking a gorgeous
beach. You have the opportunity to have a long conversation with
anyone living or dead. Who would it be? My wife
Leslie, she loves the beach. I love that she loves the beach and
we’ve had some of our greatest talks there.
5. What is the best advice you’ve ever
received? Master the capacity to adjust to things
beyond your control. Life is unfair.
6. Looking back, what advice would you give
yourself at age 20? Relax. Slow down a bit. It’s
going to be okay.
7. It’s been said that all great people can have their
lives summed up in one sentence. How do you want yours to
read? A man who loved his family with all his
If you enjoyed today’s episode: Subscribe, rate
& review on Apple Podcasts or wherever you get your
podcasts. See you here next Thursday!
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